selling ourselves to click baits costing us our self-esteem
like price-tags we became a mere entity of numbers
making sense out of showing off, burying down the generosity
digitally dying slowly, slowly dying digitally
sometimes it gets over my head
tryst went cybernated and it is excruciating
living in a constant state of fear of missing out
what I’ve to do get rid of this obscenity?
sometimes it feels like that this technology will drain me
like a disease, it can’t get off me
lust of dopamine traps never seems to cease
pills lookalike radiations always mess up my mind
not looking for love in these cold streets
intoxicated conscious and elevating senses
falsifying confidence, choking self-esteem
then we blame our heart for the wrongs
finding solace in sad songs, swallowing tears
with the weight of the world on the head don’t blame
whilst ignoring lovers yet getting bullied by cowards
is that the way we prioritize our choices?
all of the skies are singing our melancholy: blue;
wounds are left open so stop, sit and breathe
pressure on the head is high and so the heart is heavy
running out of parts of speeches to describe the love needed
emptying the suffering on the paper
wrenching censorship and pulling out my reticence
erupting insecurities, rupturing soul under the sunken bones
breathing toxin, exhaling incense
degrading, decaying and dislocating psyche
all this to percolate the infected nostalgic chronicles
chronicles that take me back to the merry days
but now refrains me to hate them even more
so why should I waste my words now
when it’s the only belonging I got
holding, knitting and bringing them to life
like fresh air to breathe it’s a therapy that works for me
born out innocent, turned into a narcissist
plucked the flower written love on it
thorns carved the scars out of my heart
recovery tattooed on my brain since then
lips stitched with trauma yet blabbering
moving with bones and wearing skin on it
mustering my heart, fueling my brain
can’t quit too soon, maturity couldn’t let me be
now as the years will go on
I’ll not seek anyone to paint my canvas like mind
blue my mind, green my heart, black my soul
heal it, immerse in it, diffuse saneness in my blood
pretending so hard
we’re not what we used to be
trying to fit amongst them just for identity
modernity has ruined the person out of us
seeking love in the eyes of a stranger
lusting through the lover’s eyes
lonely conscious with friends in a place aside
then we go home and cry all night
maturity seized the sense out of us
then we curse growing up
pleasing the pleasers, deteriorating conscience
unethical experimenting yet blaming the science
we grow out to become more realistic with age than we ever were, over time we realize that it’s not necessary that every day you have to bloom up to the stars and it’s definitely okay to shed tears at midnight’s to let things out.
“you can cry your heart loud”
reacting to obnoxious bodies.
yell the heckin’ loud and let your friends be bitchin’ about that.
it’s okay if someone refers to you as a weirdo or somewhat make the comment regarding your behavior and body.
who are they?
listen up, they are just in their comfort zone making people nervous and seeking happiness out of it which is no good to them in the longer run.
“don’t think about them”
suffering from “being nice” disease.
there will be days when you were lying on the bed and worrying about trying to make everyone around you happy and cursing yourselves about your failed attempt to do so.
it is necessary to know that to whom you’re giving your efforts and energy to, are these people even worthy of all these or just these are traitors that will stab you in the back in the future.
“take it easy” approach.
introspect yourselves but don’t self-destruct, don’t get consumed in making those people happy who have no value of you.
understand your worth, they don’t matter to your lives!
last night I screamed at the devil
told him to back on and never come back
gathered all my guts to confront him
mustered up all my nerves to tear him down
his reaction wasn’t any surprising
held me by my neck raised me up
stabbed me few times as if I’ve committed severe crimes
the pity of him didn’t know I was backed up with my courage armor
truth firebombs were too heavy for him to take
the arrogant monster fell on the ground seeing my faith that day
we both smiled until my exploited pure demon punched him to abolition
devil bled and left for good, turned back in vain and never came back
who gave you permission to control my life
did anyone ask for your consent
are you providing oxygen to my lungs
stay away, let me live!
manipulating like a puppet toy, who sold me to you
you haunt me like demons yet you pretend to be a priest
I don’t get it, who are you
stay away, let me live!
first, break me than pretend to piece me up, my master how cool
crushing my soul every time yet you didn’t let me die, why so
either give me death or set me free-
stay away, let me live!
Thanks for Reading.
locked in a cage in spite of having the grand castle
wings meant for flying lies motionless
swallowing toxicity and burying self-esteem
then they say that “who prays for death?” isn’t that ironic?
betrayals don’t seem to destroy me now
nocturnal thoughts don’t awake during the dawn
the body lies motionless like it’s getting raped
look what I’ve become, less valuable than scum
no words come out, sorry I can’t complete this
stretching words chokes my head hard and soul is aching
heart sobbing, tears won’t fall
empty life, no new missed calls
writing letters to cupid about forbidden love
sympathizing devil and discussing their scars
expecting to get healed whilst sins dripping from skin
hugging myself tight upon taking back my own tears
stretching curve upon my face which they call “smile”
an aching body needs redemption, searching to caress heart so fragile
flaming desires burnt the person out of me, emotions left as ash
crushed feelings have been thrown to the trash
separating the toxicity which was a joy once
it never meant to exist but I convinced that was
now been back to lonerism, isolating myself from criticism
shielding my heart for some unwanted reasons