free flow emotions // freestyle poetry

when my words get buried beneath my tongue

blocking my senses, aging up the boy so young.

they find no solace in anyone’s ear,

no one to hear, breathe, smoke and tears.


I swallow it up then hoping them to cure,

they stuck in my throat, they tryna choke me for sure.

harder to feel, numb to believe,

no one to talk, nothing to achieve.


since so long I have no one except myself,

it’s like I am bored of myself!

it’s like I am gonna choke it myself!

it’s like I am gonna kill myself, like am gonna kill myself!


do you even feel so alone?

aren’t tired of all the dramas that you been watching so long?

didn’t you lack the courage to cut the crap?

my friend when the morning comes, I hope you’ll be back to normalcy!


don’t you feel cursed when these anxieties suck your feelings,

it’s like you are avoiding yourself, when all you’ve got is yourself.

when words drip from the soul, they don’t know formalities,

free flow darling, free flow!


verses and paragraph and feelings combined,

I write my sorrows. I write my anxieties.

maybe I didn’t find the correct rhyme,

maybe you didn’t like when it’s not perfect chime.


what do you do when you feel low,

either you break down or you cry.

you want to die, you don’t feel the correct vibe,

proving the assumptions wrong, every time.


just a random dude writing sad poems,

unaware of self, finding out what inside part of me have been stolen.

when the things don’t go right, I put on my paper so white,

things that I didn’t find ways to put outside, they come out when I write!


Thanks for Reading.



flowers meant to bloom, they say.

they planted like a happy seed.

not knowing what they will face.

it’s all thorns, thorns which will ache the flower.


flower suck poisons. they harm themselves.

they lick anxieties to give other their happiness.

all they left with is sorrows but they don’t say anything.

flowers are precious. don’t hurt them.


they never cared about the flower, the rain came a heavy rain,

flowers became weaker as the rain-drops were severe and disastrous

but with hope flowers look upon their human to save, but no they step on it,

you know what flowers replied, “don’t hurt yourself, I contain thorns you may get hurt”.


Thanks for Reading.


the regrets you avoid during daytime

the regrets that you been hiding from since your whole life

the regrets that follow you in the dark

the regrets that shuts off your spark.


when you run away from your feelings

when you seek shelter in pleasures of your dopamine traps

when your hideaway in the glories of the hollow world

when you pretend to be happy running away from people.


where do you go when its chokes you from breathing

where do you find peace when your world is betting upon the scars

where do you think you can hide?

when you been followed by regrets at every step of your ride.


Random Diary Page of Teenager #2

Diary. how could you be that patient?

Why don’t you tell those humans to be a fraction of a patient as you are?
The way you listen to my stuff is admirable, I feel safe with you!

The atmosphere outside is pathetic, they are full of drama and wrong thoughts.
Some of them are toxic too.

They drag me down and make me feel bad. They say harsh words so easily, maybe they are too broken to understand basic etiquette. At school, they don’t teach life lessons,
they sell education at the stake of a bunch of money papers.

The world is sick out here. I’m also drowning.

It’s really frustrating that my feminine friends are not safe out there,
they doubt each man outside. How could I make them feel safe? How they can trust me?
At the end I am a boy too.

Listen to me my dear diary, I don’t feel safe out there. My thoughts are volatile they can cause chaos if left open.
I need someone to put out my thoughts. I seek shelter in you.

How can I sleep at night when someone out there is betting upon me their
piles of expectations? How could I?

It is hard to trust to people out there. They change like seasons and bury the shredded
leaves like feelings with their heavy weighted speeches.

There a world filled with liers, how can I trust them?
They tryna know my darker sides, how can I tell them what inside me that is hitting me too let it out?

I won’t go too far explaining the things I can barely control. But there is something inside me that is insecure out there in the place full of two-faced fake peoples.

Dear Diary, forgive me if I used harsh words. I’m not like this but I’ve to be like this.

~with love xx


Thanks for Reading.


words bleed.

watch my bruised soul asking for your stamp of approval

let it suffocate and don’t say anything, that’s what you do

I know you like it when I beg for your attention, you do.

you doubt my intentions every time, belittle me till I control.


let my words bleed until I smother with anxiety

let them speak on their own

they can’t be suppressed, they don’t drown.

they will make you feel, they have their stories to tell.


the way you make me numb and let it go easily is so strange,

I am not weak as I pretend, you are not as superior as you impersonate.

don’t mislead the feelings they are independent, you can’t mold them

be kind for a moment don’t let me go easily, I am human too.


it’s just you and you.

It was last summer that I used to have a mindset completely different that I’ve now.
Things really changed be it be the writing stuff or be it being more practical I’ve
came across a mixture of (some good and some bad) changes.

Anxiety still haunts me sometimes but I have learned it how to control it at least up to
a certain extent.

Also, the good thing I have learned is that now I am bit more confident as I was before I’ve also
started reading more, observing more and trying to be more social.


Over time I have also learned how to deal with tensed and anxious people,
whenever you come across them you should try to comfort them maybe
it won’t make sense to you but it means a lot to the one who is going through
all the traumatic anxiousness.

One of the learning I’ve learned is that you should find someone whom you can say your stuff to.
Be it be your soulmate, sibling, best-friend (or your pet) or whomsoever you’re comfortable
with. You should let it out. If you are too lazy to reach out to your journal due to whatever possible reason
then you should simply text or call that person and flush out all your thoughts good or bad whatever you want to share and ask out about theirs. Over time your bond will grow and your toxic thoughts will find their ways out. Let’s call this thing “Person Journal”.


Image Source: Google Images

Don’t hush sometimes you need to enjoy your idleness and let your lazy self-take control of you. It’s not good to hurt our body indiscriminately sometimes all you need to do is lay on the bed for little longer time.
Stand up and take that hot water bath to relax your body up. Moisturize yourself.
Put on some new clothes. Dress up for yourself for once and not for others. Take some “Me-Time”.
Click some good pictures for yourself. Watch your favorite show/video. Pet the nearby dogs who waits for you every day. Sit on the terrace and spend some time with that wide sky and those green tall plants. Let no one can bring you down in this meantime.


You deserve yourself more than you do anyone else. xo


recycled thoughts.

It was last night that I’ve flushed down venomous thoughts.
It was an effort to end all the sufferings and melancholy.
It was an experimental yet calculated way to let down the clutter of aborted hopes.
It was just last night that I’ve felt a bit alive.

Be it being a good son, I’ve let down my parents, forgive me.
Be it being a good friend, I was not the ideal friend, I was not the ideal one they deserved.
Be it being a good student, I’ve never learned the lessons of life.
Be it being a good human, I wonder if I’ve ever been worthy of this life.

Last night passed and the thoughts traveled with it also.
Traces of thoughts remained, they were the product of my own.
They were embedded in me, they founded their way through.
This time they were less deleterious as my soul now was hardened to get screwed.


spilled ink.

Spilled ink reminds me of the memories of the past
It resembles with the tears of joy that were overflowed with emotions
Complex yet simple to realize but never easy to elaborate
Future me will not be as sorted as it used to be before.

But whatever happens, happens for good
Yet I have a belief that the ink will be enough to express my thoughts
Enlightening vibes will found their way to me as open my arms with eyes closed
They will kiss my soul so good that my sorrows will find their way out

As my tears touch the ground my sadness will be buried
Happiness will flow through veins as I breathe
Let ‘s change ourselves for better us and don’t regret
As of all we live only once, make it worth living as they say!


Thanks for reading & Happy New Year!


dark shadow.

Today I saw my shadow and got scared
It was dark and horrifying, I doubted “Was that mine?”
I ran fast to avoid that feeling that felt like committing a crime
It used to be beautiful, earlier it used to shine.

In that shadow, I saw my sins transparently and clearly,
I tried to rectify it but it ran far away from me
My past reflected in that very moment and all the bad deeds too
The tear dropped out of my eyeballs and got vaporized like dew.

Later that night, I tried to relive that moment
Monster came later that night in the room of sorrows
And I was not scared, I asked: “what do you need?”
There were no answers to be heard because that monster was me…


Thanks for Reading.


unknown feelings.

that feeling that was unknown,
that heartbeat beating in silence
that footstep that was shivering
that eyes that were blinking in fear

all those movements I’m making to hide my weirdness
all those reactions I’m avoiding to hide my creepiness
all those thoughts that I’m burying to keep my focus on you
all those people I’m ignoring to reach out to you.

is it what they ‘lust’ for?
is it what they ‘die’ for?
is it what they ‘live’ for?
is it what they say ‘love’?


  Thanks for Reading.