technologically tired.

selling ourselves to click baits costing us our self-esteem

like price-tags we became a mere entity of numbers

making sense out of showing off, burying down the generosity

digitally dying slowly, slowly dying digitally

 

sometimes it gets over my head

tryst went cybernated and it is excruciating

living in a constant state of fear of missing out

what I’ve to do get rid of this obscenity?

 

sometimes it feels like that this technology will drain me

like a disease, it can’t get off me

lust of dopamine traps never seems to cease

pills lookalike radiations always mess up my mind

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infatuations.

not looking for love in these cold streets

intoxicated conscious and elevating senses

falsifying confidence, choking self-esteem

then we blame our heart for the wrongs

 

finding solace in sad songs, swallowing tears

with the weight of the world on the head don’t blame

whilst ignoring lovers yet getting bullied by cowards

is that the way we prioritize our choices?

 

all of the skies are singing our melancholy: blue;

wounds are left open so stop, sit and breathe

pressure on the head is high and so the heart is heavy

running out of parts of speeches to describe the love needed

therapy.

emptying the suffering on the paper

wrenching censorship and pulling out my reticence

erupting insecurities, rupturing soul under the sunken bones

breathing toxin, exhaling incense

 

degrading, decaying and dislocating psyche

all this to percolate the infected nostalgic chronicles

chronicles that take me back to the merry days

but now refrains me to hate them even more

 

so why should I waste my words now

when it’s the only belonging I got

holding, knitting and bringing them to life

like fresh air to breathe it’s a therapy that works for me

maturity.

born out innocent, turned into a narcissist

plucked the flower written love on it

thorns carved the scars out of my heart

recovery tattooed on my brain since then

 

lips stitched with trauma yet blabbering

moving with bones and wearing skin on it

mustering my heart, fueling my brain

can’t quit too soon, maturity couldn’t let me be

 

now as the years will go on

I’ll not seek anyone to paint my canvas like mind

blue my mind, green my heart, black my soul

heal it, immerse in it, diffuse saneness in my blood

modernity.

pretending so hard

we’re not what we used to be

trying to fit amongst them just for identity

modernity has ruined the person out of us

 

seeking love in the eyes of a stranger

lusting through the lover’s eyes

lonely conscious with friends in a place aside

then we go home and cry all night

 

maturity seized the sense out of us

then we curse growing up

pleasing the pleasers, deteriorating conscience

unethical experimenting yet blaming the science

Random Diary Page of Teenager #5

we grow out to become more realistic with age than we ever were, over time we realize that it’s not necessary that every day you have to bloom up to the stars and it’s definitely okay to shed tears at midnight’s to let things out.

“you can cry your heart loud”

reacting to obnoxious bodies.

yell the heckin’ loud and let your friends be bitchin’ about that.

it’s okay if someone refers to you as a weirdo or somewhat make the comment regarding your behavior and body.

who are they?

conclusionary affirmation.

listen up, they are just in their comfort zone making people nervous and seeking happiness out of it which is no good to them in the longer run.

“don’t think about them”

suffering from “being nice” disease.
there will be days when you were lying on the bed and worrying about trying to make everyone around you happy and cursing yourselves about your failed attempt to do so.

it is necessary to know that to whom you’re giving your efforts and energy to, are these people even worthy of all these or just these are traitors that will stab you in the back in the future.

“take it easy” approach.
introspect yourselves but don’t self-destruct, don’t get consumed in making those people happy who have no value of you.

understand your worth, they don’t matter to your lives!

nerve.

last night I screamed at the devil

told him to back on and never come back

gathered all my guts to confront him

mustered up all my nerves to tear him down

 

his reaction wasn’t any surprising

held me by my neck raised me up

stabbed me few times as if I’ve committed severe crimes

the pity of him didn’t know I was backed up with my courage armor

 

truth firebombs were too heavy for him to take

the arrogant monster fell on the ground seeing my faith that day

we both smiled until my exploited pure demon punched him to abolition

devil bled and left for good, turned back in vain and never came back

stay away.

who gave you permission to control my life

did anyone ask for your consent

are you providing oxygen to my lungs

stay away, let me live!

 

manipulating like a puppet toy, who sold me to you

you haunt me like demons yet you pretend to be a priest

I don’t get it, who are you

stay away, let me live!

 

first, break me than pretend to piece me up, my master how cool

crushing my soul every time yet you didn’t let me die, why so

either give me death or set me free-

stay away, let me live!

 

Thanks for Reading.

degrading aspirations

locked in a cage in spite of having the grand castle

wings meant for flying lies motionless

swallowing toxicity and burying self-esteem

then they say that “who prays for death?” isn’t that ironic?

 

betrayals don’t seem to destroy me now

nocturnal thoughts don’t awake during the dawn

the body lies motionless like it’s getting raped

look what I’ve become, less valuable than scum

 

no words come out, sorry I can’t complete this

stretching words chokes my head hard and soul is aching

heart sobbing, tears won’t fall

empty life, no new missed calls

unwanted reasons.

writing letters to cupid about forbidden love

sympathizing devil and discussing their scars

expecting to get healed whilst sins dripping from skin

hugging myself tight upon taking back my own tears

 

stretching curve upon my face which they call “smile”

an aching body needs redemption, searching to caress heart so fragile

flaming desires burnt the person out of me, emotions left as ash

crushed feelings have been thrown to the trash

 

separating the toxicity which was a joy once

it never meant to exist but I convinced that was

now been back to lonerism, isolating myself from criticism

shielding my heart for some unwanted reasons