it’s just you and you.

It was last summer that I used to have a mindset completely different that I’ve now.
Things really changed be it be the writing stuff or be it being more practical I’ve
came across a mixture of (some good and some bad) changes.

Anxiety still haunts me sometimes but I have learned it how to control it at least up to
a certain extent.

Also, the good thing I have learned is that now I am bit more confident as I was before I’ve also
started reading more, observing more and trying to be more social.

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Over time I have also learned how to deal with tensed and anxious people,
whenever you come across them you should try to comfort them maybe
it won’t make sense to you but it means a lot to the one who is going through
all the traumatic anxiousness.

One of the learning I’ve learned is that you should find someone whom you can say your stuff to.
Be it be your soulmate, sibling, best-friend (or your pet) or whomsoever you’re comfortable
with. You should let it out. If you are too lazy to reach out to your journal due to whatever possible reason
then you should simply text or call that person and flush out all your thoughts good or bad whatever you want to share and ask out about theirs. Over time your bond will grow and your toxic thoughts will find their ways out. Let’s call this thing “Person Journal”.

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Image Source: Google Images

Don’t hush sometimes you need to enjoy your idleness and let your lazy self-take control of you. It’s not good to hurt our body indiscriminately sometimes all you need to do is lay on the bed for little longer time.
Stand up and take that hot water bath to relax your body up. Moisturize yourself.
Put on some new clothes. Dress up for yourself for once and not for others. Take some “Me-Time”.
Click some good pictures for yourself. Watch your favorite show/video. Pet the nearby dogs who waits for you every day. Sit on the terrace and spend some time with that wide sky and those green tall plants. Let no one can bring you down in this meantime.

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You deserve yourself more than you do anyone else. xo

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recycled thoughts.

It was last night that I’ve flushed down venomous thoughts.
It was an effort to end all the sufferings and melancholy.
It was an experimental yet calculated way to let down the clutter of aborted hopes.
It was just last night that I’ve felt a bit alive.

Be it being a good son, I’ve let down my parents, forgive me.
Be it being a good friend, I was not the ideal friend, I was not the ideal one they deserved.
Be it being a good student, I’ve never learned the lessons of life.
Be it being a good human, I wonder if I’ve ever been worthy of this life.

Last night passed and the thoughts traveled with it also.
Traces of thoughts remained, they were the product of my own.
They were embedded in me, they founded their way through.
This time they were less deleterious as my soul now was hardened to get screwed.

spilled ink.

Spilled ink reminds me of the memories of the past
It resembles with the tears of joy that were overflowed with emotions
Complex yet simple to realize but never easy to elaborate
Future me will not be as sorted as it used to be before.

But whatever happens, happens for good
Yet I have a belief that the ink will be enough to express my thoughts
Enlightening vibes will found their way to me as open my arms with eyes closed
They will kiss my soul so good that my sorrows will find their way out

As my tears touch the ground my sadness will be buried
Happiness will flow through veins as I breathe
Let ‘s change ourselves for better us and don’t regret
As of all we live only once, make it worth living as they say!

 

Thanks for reading & Happy New Year!

dark shadow.

Today I saw my shadow and got scared
It was dark and horrifying, I doubted “Was that mine?”
I ran fast to avoid that feeling that felt like committing a crime
It used to be beautiful, earlier it used to shine.

In that shadow, I saw my sins transparently and clearly,
I tried to rectify it but it ran far away from me
My past reflected in that very moment and all the bad deeds too
The tear dropped out of my eyeballs and got vaporized like dew.

Later that night, I tried to relive that moment
Monster came later that night in the room of sorrows
And I was not scared, I asked: “what do you need?”
There were no answers to be heard because that monster was me…

 

Thanks for Reading.

unknown feelings.

that feeling that was unknown,
that heartbeat beating in silence
that footstep that was shivering
that eyes that were blinking in fear

all those movements I’m making to hide my weirdness
all those reactions I’m avoiding to hide my creepiness
all those thoughts that I’m burying to keep my focus on you
all those people I’m ignoring to reach out to you.

is it what they ‘lust’ for?
is it what they ‘die’ for?
is it what they ‘live’ for?
is it what they say ‘love’?

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  Thanks for Reading.

blank paper.

Midnight, dark light and great height,
Me, my insecurities and my heart.
Blank paper is all I got to share my feeling,
It is the only thing which was a place of solace.

Moonlight was beautiful that day,
it felt like it was pulling apart my sorrows.
all the past memories,
good or bad some happy and some sad.

blank paper. beautiful nature and depressed creature.
three unmatched combos had a conversation that night.
then what, depressed creature got motivation from beautiful nature
and blank paper knows the rest, the pain that is relieved from someone’s chest.

 

Thanks for Reading.

comfort zone.

That little zone is mine, purely mine,
Don’t take it from me.
That little zone is my escape from this world,
Don’t stop me from going there.

That little zone asks me no question,
It doesn’t criticize me for what I am.
That little zone treats me the way I want,
It doesn’t kill my vibe like humans do.

That little zone holds the door to the different world,
Which is peaceful, silent and better.
That little zone holds my secrets and insecurities,
Which I know is safe because my comfort zone is within myself!

hope.

Stuck in a loop that I’ve created
Wounded mind and bleeding heart
Blood sucked up and hopes are dead
Lying on dead dreams that seems like death bed.

Hope is the healer to heal it a bit by bit,
Keep on back to the source that hit me.
Running back and forth seems like getting stuck
Crying alone because ain’t got no value of tears.

Hoping hurts and still, I hope,
It keeps me alive, yes it keeps me alive
It elevate me from these monstrous sorrows
One day these sorrow will die and then there will be no need to cry!

Will You?

When my words don’t fit in the sentence
Will you be there to fit it in?
When the society doesn’t accept me as normal
Will you be there to tell me I’m alright?

When everyone will start losing faith in me
Will you be there to show the faith in me?
When I finish conquering my anxiety,
Will you be there to celebrate my victory?

When I’ll be lying on deathbed in my old age
Will you be there to share our memories?
Will you remember how we cried in joys,
Will you?

 

Thanks for Reading.

empty paper.

Empty page of the table asked me,
“Wanna talk?” I didn’t respond.
Wind blew it away and it reached in my hand,
Then what my tears became fuel to my ink and mind became the machine.

He was gentle and kind unlike most of the people,
He was the guide in the lost land for guys like me.
Although it was blank, it asked me few questions!
That day, I was the narrator and he was the book.

We had a strong conversation until page came to an end,
This little conversation sooth my mind a bit that day
Then we became good friends, I sought shelter in it
He also loved the touch of ink and I loved his silence.

 

Thanks for Reading.