Man. I used to happy and jolly kid. I was happy in my world which was not perfect but at least sorted.
Things elevated, I was doing good in life but do you know what happened then?
I fell in a well that was incorporated by anxiety, depression and overthinking.
They were so addictive and got me like they were my old lost friend. they stuck with me like they really cared for me and they kept on pulling me backward toward them, pulling me apart from the tantrums of the fake hollow world. they dragged me down to that depth from where things were jet black and vision was definitely not there, when I thought I could escape the well. Then I realized now it was too late to even think of escape.
No way of coming out of this depth less well came to my senses. I was so numb at that time but now I knew that these things (anxiety, depression and overthinking) took me so the depth of myself that I lost in myself.
Hope for coming out of this well died with the death of the same old person I used to be. Now I am a sad and suicidal human body
with no feelings, some called me robot some calls me mean (they even don’t know how a robot can be mean).
I never share my feelings with anyone because I don’t have any. They always thought I’ve been holding on too many things.
I don’t know what to tell them, I just give them a fake cute smile and leave them because they are happy people and don’t deserve to get their life darkened by a dark boy like me.
Now, I just move and lay, listen but don’t say. People sometimes call me fake, I got really confused what and whom they are referring to?
does my existence make any sense? does my non-existence will make any difference?
Sadness is not fake neither suicides are planned.
Note: All the guys out there with the sad and suicidal mindset just remember you are not weak neither you are any less, you will bloom and be happy and remember its all inside us. Just don’t give a damn about what people have to say.