medication.

with all kind vibes falling out my skin

as I am getting scarce of humanitarian behavior

pulling out of me is the essence which I need

drugged notions don’t respond to my queries

 

I need medication to bring back what I’ve lost

is there any anti-biotics to restore relations?

do these syrups bring back good memories?

wondering if there would be anesthesia to numb the pain of past

 

maybe these x-rays will find out the reason for sorrow

maybe these syringes provide us the antidote of anxiety

maybe these oxygen masks provide us the life we want

maybe these blood-banks warm up our cold blood, maybe

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no tricks.

there is no trick to live

no perfect ways to smile

lungs are to inhale positivity only

inspiration is meant to be exhaled

 

no matter what anyone has to say

short life does not stop for anyone

highway to death is on and following pit-stops are meant to smile

dark night but at least it is accompanied by the dawn of sunshine

 

raise a glass filled with gutsy vibes

let it radiate towards everyone

everyone those who are suffering

questioning about their life, their existence

tumblr.

all of a sudden everything became aesthetic

thoughts became to flow in another direction

maturity seized the person out of me

as my voice deepened soul echoed through the verse

 

now everything is like Tumblr

sad, blurry and wavy

colors are there too but just to deepen the effect

discoveries are not disastrous as sadness acting as anesthesia

 

loose clothes and tighten up thoughts governed by anxieties

absurd reasons authorize my happiness like madness residing

as I came to appreciate the darkness the fear went away

now everything is like Tumblr- sad, blurry and wavy

 

Thanks for Reading.

normalcy.

the simple it sounds yet harder to implement

lowering down self-esteem nothing to supplement

everlasting show-off and lust for compliments

positivity tried to overtake us but still, ego is dominant

 

where is normalcy?

the freedom to stay sober is nowhere to see here

streams, mainstreams and drama is everywhere

lies and misunderstanding is in the atmosphere

 

forget the regret let’s reboot your emotional-system

don’t let your firewalls weaken up don’t let anyone authorize

your system full of volatile and vulnerable emotions

take care of it don’t let it down by these clones and frown

Random Diary Page of Teenager #4

Dear diary,

Annoying you again as I’m in hibernation mode and I need to confess few things.

Expectation.

As simple it sounds, more complex it gets.

Whatever the thing maybe when we get dependent on someone or something we start expecting no matter how strong or weak we are emotional.

From nowhere something starts to cook-up in our minds, those damn “expectation”.

We expect people according to our imagination and when we don’t get our required attention our so-called “emotions” got hurt.

Always wanting more disease.

We never get satisfied of what we are having right now all we are concerned about is the “best”, we know that this concept of best is like “mirage” yet we fool around to chase it regardless of what we have currently.

Just like that, we ruin our momentary happiness in order to go after what we won’t get.

It happens to all of us at some point of life but still, we don’t learn.

Validation.

“Validate me, daddy!” , “Validate me, honey!”, “Validate me xyz”!

We never stop to validate us whatever the reason may be. no damn, for sure it feels good to be validated. It makes us feel something when we haven’t got anything to make us feel special.

Becoming Wise Issue.

Everyone is so concerned about the lives of others not knowing that you owe nothing to that person and probably you’re thinking you’re adding a significant part to their life whereas the reality maybe you’re adding more to the difficulties of the other person.

Sometimes it is more wiser step to give people their required space.

Let them speak, whatever they want to. Let their things come out of their minds for once. Listen, listen patiently! don’t interrupt.

Why we cannot act like a child?

We are never too old to act like a child it is really fun to switch yourself to a little kid for a while *no bad vibes* sometimes you just have released all the tensions or at least not to think about it for a while. forget your status, forget your appearances, forget about your ex or exes, forget about your bad past and forget that you have to act like an adult.

Maintaining Status Tantrums.

We are so obsessed with the idea of maintaining status, most of the things we do these days come from the intent to show-off our things.

It definitely acts as a boost to our egos and works as a weapon to kill someone’s self-esteem but pulling out a war won’t bring any peace. Never ending battle gets started and we fight like cats over the things we don’t have control over and a waste majority of our times just showing off the things and not living in the moment.

Peeping into someone else life.

I don’t understand why people can’t simply mind their businesses. People should understand that the other people have their own lives and probably chances are that their lives are better than yours but the thing is that comparing to your lives with theirs won’t make you any good person in response to it you will make your life more troublesome and will get stuck in constant loop of overthinking. Don’t interfere in someone else life but be ready to support them whenever they need you. don’t be a jerk.

Being a good human.

Most importantly we need to realize that we all are good in some way although we don’t realize our own importance. the only thing we are good at is underestimating yourself.

It doesn’t matter that what the other people think of you as a person, you can’t change their opinions even if you try to.  be opinionated about yourself. don’t do self-harm.

Love others too but don’t forget to beautify your own soul because you deserve it, we all deserve it.

There are plenty of things that we can as a human but we need to realize that doing anything at the cost of making ourselves sad/ depressed/anxious is of no use. better care for yourself!

 

Thanks for Reading.

 

escape.

you pulled me once

they pushed me twice

as of now been dragged to the prize

no sunshine now I’m tired of being nice

 

bruised scars started to bleed

I tried, You Lied

we broke our hearts all we did just to hide

the concept of escape please enlighten me

 

take my soul it’s so pure

stuck in the body it can’t conquer

tired of explaining itself

pull it out, make it free

 

Thanks for Reading.

nostalgia.

drugged emotions, high on madness

traversing nostalgia lead by the sadness

back and forth these memories hollow me up

now there’s nothing but dismantling-nested heart

 

my notions forcing me on peak

I can’t resist these temptations

the breaking point is the oblivion set by my mind

only scanned image negatives, no originals to find

 

stop it. relax. stay.

begging my contemplating thought to stop

no mercy shown by them, I’m suffering. I’m aching.

conscious fading, seizing the vision in sad season!

 

Thanks for Reading.

Random Diary Page of Teenager #3

okay. so diary it’s been a while I haven’t written anything.

you know it’s hard to summarize everything one been going through, it’s like asking our own self-questions and then finding the answers to the very same questions within ourselves.

intrinsic struggles.

when you’re having trouble finding out that correct rhyme and you switch out to your journal, jotting down all the frustration that how you’re not able to write that processed thought you’ve held onto all day long.

 

attention seeking problem.

your cravings for recognition lets you do the things and all you want is attention.

we all are attention seeking puppets lead by the things that help us seek attention,

most of our actions are lead by the thought that we want to seek attention.

 

ironical desires.

“everyone wants to be popular.”

you know what is the irony is? they want to get popular and happy all together.

*sounds good, doesn’t work*

 

fake flexing and the toxic attitude.

we live in a society where a pre-middle school kid is flexing upon the status of their dad

and forget that the things they are flexing on to are none of their business in actual.

chuck it about these spoilt-brats they’re not mature it’s understandable but even the so-called “Mature-Amateur Muscular Hunks” are flexing upon to their perfect bodies and then talking about being sad to seek attention and then showing up to 10 different persons and making fun of the person who showed some sympathy to them.

it’s sound strange and weird but still it’s the reality.

bad and poisonous intentions.

most of our actions are lead by our desire to let the other person down. we are consumed in yourself and running indefinitely onto the path that we even don’t know where it will take us.

we are doing things without any motives but doing it just for the sake of doing it.

but it’s not about me only, I know there are people other than me who feels same about this thing, I also know how hard it is to tackle the situation when just can’t talk to someone so unreal to the face without knocking them down!

 

just a reminder.

I am no hater or jealous of anyone’s accomplishments and so but I suffer from the habit of observing things so closely. it disgusts me on levels when I came across anyone so fake or pretentious, I just simply couldn’t handle that vibe.

seems like it is pretty much frustration taken out but it’s okay. at least i am no more faking up at least on the internet.

~with love xx

Thanks for Reading.

paint it neon.

when nothing feels great and you’re trapped in your musing

wondering whether this life is worth it or not

drowned in the questions you seek answers to these questions

amidst all the sufferings that you’re going through

 

bleeding the tears from hearts and eyes imitating a picture

that you wanna show but are not willing to

so paint it neon and fake the glow

save your soul from these rogue voids

 

take your heart in your hands and let it heal

let the warmth of your body heal its wound

breath just breath and when you’ll open your eyes

then there will be just birds singing choirs in the skies

blades to the heart.

look what these scars have done to me

seizing the smile from the depth of my heart

left it open to swell in the showers

doubts one on another like building a towers

 

hiding across-the-board in this shabby skin

mustering oxygen to the heart is all I know

feelings exist in dimensions that cease to show

summertime sadness be so high still I’m on a low

 

teleporting to the world of anxieties now and then

although it was never broken yet it is so damaged

blades and thorns left cold blood in it yet it ain’t savage

top to bottom pretty quick livin’ life so average

 

701

 

Thanks For Reading.